Counseling for Grief
Grief is an unhappy or painful reaction to a major loss. Often grief is associated with death, such as the loss of a friend or family member, but there are other causes of grief. The termination of a long-term relationship or job can cause grief; so can a chronic medical condition that affects someone’s quality of life.
Physical Effects of Grief
Tightness in the throat or in the muscles
Heaviness or pressure in the chest
Inability to sleep
Periods of nervousness, or even panic
Emotional Effects of Grief
Forgetfulness
Unexpected angers toward others
May cry easily/unexpectedly
Mood swings
May feel uncomfortable around people
May not want to be alone
The physical and emotional symptoms of grief can last from a month or two to years. Extended lengths of grief with significant impacts on daily life can cause more severe emotional (major depression) and medical (alcohol or drug abuse) issues.
Five Stages of Grief
Though the process of grieving a loss looks a little different for each individual, there is a typical pattern that often occurs. This pattern is referred to as the Five Stages of Grief. Not all grieving people experience them all or in the same order, however.
Denial- This is the first stage of grief, and because a grieving person is shocked, numb and just generally overwhelmed emotionally, they may not be able to accept that the loss has really happened (“He just can’t be gone!”). Of course in the case of death, they rationally realize that the person is gone, but the denial mechanism allows the grieving person to gradually take in the news and emotions that go along with it.
Anger- This is the second stage of grief, and after denial, when a person begins to process the emotions stemming from the loss, these painful emotions are still sometimes too much to handle and are redirected and expressed as anger; also bitterness and resentment. These feelings can be directed at people (sometimes the person the loss is centered around, or sometimes people who are close to the grieving person), objects, God, or not directed at all.
Bargaining- The third stage of grief. This stage relates to the grieving person wanting to feel like they could have had an effect on the event, and usually involves ‘if-only’ thoughts. “If only I had been ________ this wouldn’t have happened.” There are often feelings of guilt also present at this stage.
Depression- This fourth stage of grief tends to be much ‘quieter’ and more internal than anger and bargaining. This quiet yet painful place is where the grieving person really begins to process the loss more fully.
Acceptance-This fifth and final stage of grief is not necessarily a happy one, where the feelings of sadness and regret are gone. It is, however, the stage where the grieving person resists the reality of the loss, and understands the meaning the loss has on their life.
Though grief can make you feel isolated and alone, remember that there is help and support during this difficult time. Avenues of Counseling and Mediation has multiple counselors in both our Medina and Akron locations who understand what you’re going through, and will meet you where you are in your grieving process to help you get through it.