What is Betrayal Trauma?
What happens to someone when they find out the person they trusted the most has betrayed them? Betrayed partners can feel like their whole world is caving in and begin to question everything they thought they knew.
Researchers are finding that approximately 65% of those who have been betrayed through sexual or emotional infidelity by their romantic partner show signs of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. A lack of trust in self and others, anxiety and hypervigilance, depression, nightmares and ruminating thoughts about the betrayal and emotional dysregulation are all common. This incredibly difficult experience has been given a name: intimate betrayal trauma.
Betrayal brings forth many emotions – anger, sadness, shame and grief just to start. Betrayed partner’s self worth feels shattered. Compassionate and specialized support is necessary to assist those trying to process these complex emotions that can take a toll on every part of a partner’s well being.
Learning to manage triggers and intense emotions through distress tolerance skills, increasing mindfulness and self care practices, building a trusted support network and learning to set boundaries can assist betrayed partners manage the intense emotions that come with the trauma of intimate betrayal.
Nothing is ever the same after sexual or emotional betrayal, but whether a partner chooses to stay or leave, healing, growth and restoration of self are all possible.
Erin Stretar is a Certified Partner and Trauma Therapist (CPTT) candidate specializing in treating partners who have experienced sexual betrayal through their partner’s sex or pornography addiction, affairs or other sexually compulsive behavior.