Three Ways to Help a Procrastinator
Procrastination is the world’s greatest alibi. It helps us avoid ever having to face up to our own true limitations by fooling us into thinking that we can put off tasks until tomorrow and still achieve the results we’d like. It can be like a credit card; fun to have and use until you get the bill.
Here are three concrete steps to helping a procrastinator take back the sense of accomplishment and competence clouded over by unrestrained free time and lack of planning ahead.
1. Don’t Accept Your Teen’s Rationalizations
Let’s face it: Procrastinators are liars. They lie to themselves on a regular basis about how long it will take to complete a project, and that they will have enough time to get it done well. These lies are called rationalizations. To stop, the procrastinator must be able to recognize, argue against, and defeat his rationalization. Either challenge your teen when you hear one of these rationalizations, or show them this list and ask if anything sounds familiar:
"I'm more productive when I work under pressure, so I'm putting off all my work until the pressure builds up, and then it will be a breeze to polish this off.”
"If I wait until the last minute, this paper won’t take so much time to write."
“If I do this work right now, I'll miss out on (insert once-in-a-lifetime activity, social media, or playing Fortnite or another video game for the fifth night in a row).”
“Chill out. This is just one assignment. The world isn't going to come to an end if I don’t do it."
“I don't know how to do this problem, so I'm waiting until I do."
“This job is easier to do when I'm feeling it, so I am going to wait for the mood to strike."
"I waited until the last moment before, and it worked out okay, so why not this time?"
“I could get my work done if the teacher gave us enough time!”
2. Challenge Negative Thinking
Procrastinators have a negative attitude towards work. Here are some negative things they tell themselves, and more positive substitutes:
Instead of saying this: Say this:
I have to... I choose to...
I must finish. When can I start?
This project is so big and so important. I can take one small step.
I must be perfect. I can be perfectly human.
I don’t have time to play. I must make time to play.
3. Uncover the Roots of Procrastination
Help your teen to recognize why they are delaying something unnecessarily by following these steps:
Discover the real reasons for the delay. Ask your teen to list as many as they can think of.
Dispute those real reasons and overcome them. Be vigorous.
Begin the task.
Other Strategies:
Make the tasks look small and easy in your mind. ("I've written lots of excellent papers; this is just one more paper.")
Do only a small part of the task each time. ("I'll just check out the books tonight. Later, I'll glance through them.")
Change your environment: If your teen can't study at home, find a place where they can, or change your study situation at home.
Five-minute plan: Work on something for just five minutes. At the end of five minutes, switch to something else if you want. Chances are, your teen will have gotten involved enough to keep going.
Use the Pomodoro System. Here are the 5 steps of the Pomodoro technique:
Step 1: Make a list of all the tasks you have to do today and identify how many Pomodoros (25 mins) each task will take. Don't forget to factor in break times.
Step 2: Set a timer to 25 minutes. It doesn't have to be a tomato-shaped kitchen timer; you can also use a time tracker app.
Step 3: Work on one task only so that you can really get into the 'flow', i.e. the state of complete concentration.
Step 4: When your timer goes off after 25 minutes, take a 5-minute break. Do this even if you're in the middle of the task. Breaks are an essential part of the Pomodoro technique. It's not just about getting things done, but also about maintaining your energy levels.
Step 5: After you've completed a cycle of 4 Pomodoros (1 Pomodoro = 25 min work + 5 min break), take a longer break of around 20-30 minutes. Again, take this opportunity to get away from your desk, relax, and refresh.
Do the one-minute dash: First make a to-do list and put the terrifying stuff at the top and the easier stuff at the bottom. Then do a "one-minute dash" and write out the steps needed to beat the first problem. This should help you get past the fear and start building momentum. If the dashes aren’t working, they’re not short and easy enough.
Elicit Commitment, Rather than Compliance
To do so,
Help your teen focus on manageable objectives rather than overwhelming expectations.
Praise your teen for steps that send them in the right direction, rather than criticizing him for making mistakes.
And whatever you do, don’t nag. That only creates resentment (in both of you) and adds more external pressure for your teen to rebel against. Combined with an attitude of victimization, it creates additional worry and intensifies a negative attitude towards school.
Though these strategies may help, the procrastination habit cannot be broken with a few strategies or tricks. The only way to truly conquer it is to learn it and become actively engaged in learning. For the procrastinator, this takes time and emotional growth. However, the benefits of breaking the habit are significant. They include peace of mind, a feeling of strength, purpose, and being in charge of your life. While the procrastinator feels weak and helpless, the engaged student will feel strong, competent, and capable.