Working Through Worry
Thinking about and working through a situation or problem can be helpful. Unfortunately, sometimes the thoughts turn to worry that leads to a state of anxiety. So, what is the difference?
Thinking generally leads us through a problem, and to some sort of resolution. Worry, on the other hand, keeps us stuck and can lead to being distracted by the “what if’s,” worse case scenarios, and anxiety that can lead to an inability to problem-solve. Then what can we do about worry?
Here are Strategies to Try:
1. Mindfulness
Mindfulness involves trying to focus on the present. Worry often focuses on the future and the unknown. We can become mindful by trying to be an observer of our worry as an outsider looking in. This allows us to be more objective, look at a situation more realistically and problem solve. Being mindful also involves paying attention to how our body is feeling. Ask yourself the question: “am I in an anxious state, breathing heavily, talking rapidly, or experiencing muscle tension?” Slowing ourselves down through deep breathing, stretching or relaxation can help with these states. This allows us to better focus on being aware of worry and working on letting it pass rather than controlling it. Ways to help let the worry pass include distracting ourselves with other activities or changing the environment we are in.
2. Postpone Worry
Give yourself permission to worry by choosing a time and place, preferably the same one every day. This allows us to express and not dismiss our feelings, while at the same time trying to confine it to a certain period. As a result, this helps us to work on making the rest of the day more worry-free. If a thought comes in your head during the day acknowledge it, write it down, and remind yourself to think about it during your “worry time.” Review the thoughts during “worry time” to see if they are still bothering you. If so, try to evaluate whether the problem can be solved or not.
3. Solvable & Unsolvable Problems
Ask yourself if you are creating a “what if” situation or if a situation is actually happening. If it is a “what if,” ask yourself the likelihood of it happening. If it is possible, probable and/solvable come up with a plan of action. If it is actually happening try to immediately come up with a plan of action that will help reduce worry and lead to a resolution. Brainstorm a list of possible solutions and plans of action. Address in that plan those aspects you can and cannot control and focus on the ones you can control. If a worry is unsolvable, it is important to pay attention to your emotions. Recognize your feelings about the worry and ask yourself the question: “will worrying change the outcome?” This allows you to recognize and focus more on those things you can control.
4. Learning to Accept Uncertainty
Try to recognize that we cannot always plan everything out. Things happen outside of our control and worrying about them will not prevent bad things from happening. Thinking through and problem-solving can, on the other hand, help prevent bad things from happening when those things are in our control. For example, we can reduce our worry about getting a speeding ticket by following the speed limit which will prevent it from happening. On the other hand, worrying about a tornado happening will not prevent it.
5. Recognize Your Anxious Thoughts
Do you generally see or overestimate the possibility of negative things happening? Do you jump to worse case scenarios? If so ask yourself how often they actually happen. Do you discredit the positive or your own ability to problem solve? These are cognitive distortions we learn over the years that become automatic ways of thinking. Once we become aware of them we can work towards replacing them with more positive, realistic ways of thinking.