How You Can Make Counseling More Effective

Get Comfortable with Feeling Uncomfortable

Therapy requires that some things change within you, such as your thoughts, interpretations and behaviors, otherwise meaningful growth and change will not occur.  Try to view those feelings as a good thing. It means you are working towards progress.

Learn What It Means To Be a Good Client

Being a good client does not mean being polite and rarely asking questions. It does not mean never disagreeing with your therapist.  You shouldn’t censor yourself in therapy for fear of judgment or appearing impolite.  The statements that you are afraid to say, like “I didn’t want to come to therapy today.” or “What you said last session really made me mad.” can open the door to an honest discussion and can be the very things that lead to progress. Being a ‘good client’ means being the most authentic, unfiltered version of yourself.

Accept That Every Therapy Session is Not Going to Have an A-HA Moment.

Psychotherapy is a relationship between yourself and your counselor. As in all relationships there are intense moments and seemingly lighter moments. Both are important and valuable.

Accept That Your Therapist Cannot (and Should Not) Tell You What to do About Important Decisions 

Some people come to therapy looking for guidance.  Your counselor does provide that, by helping you learn how to respond to your feelings, gain new insights on thoughts or the people in your life, and how to develop healthier habits. Your therapist’s job, however, is to help strengthen you so you can handle the tough situations you encounter. That means your decisions will remain your own.

View Therapy As a Collaboration

Express your needs, ask questions, read books, and do the “homework assignments.” Keep a journal, reflect on your last session, prepare for your next one, and generally pay attention to your thoughts and feelings throughout the week. Think of therapy like a course where you are the topic! Dive in.  The more effort you put in, the faster growth will come.

Accept That Lasting Change Does not Happen Overnight. 

You're probably entering into therapy for issues that represent long-standing habits or patterns.  It takes a while to learn and practice new ways of thinking, behaving and being. You may not see your progress from day to day. But as you persevere, you’re likely to gradually experience growth and change.