Fall in Love With Your Partner Again
Stay Curious
New lovers ask a bunch of questions to get to know and connect with each other. This period of a relationship is fun and exciting but over time we can forget to stay inquisitive, and the relationship grows stale. Some couples have very little knowledge about their partner’s inner world. Remember that people do change over time. Staying curious about your partner isn’t just an important part of falling in love. It also helps you stay in love!
Try the Love Quiz
What kind of questions reignite that fire? Try quizzing each other with a wide range of questions to help you develop greater insight and more detailed understanding of each other. Ask easy questions like “where was I born?” or “who are my closest friends?” Or more difficult questions like: “do I have a secret ambition? What is it?” Let your imagination run wild.
Set Rules and No Score-Keeping
Sounds simple right? Remember, angry reactions like “You don’t know where I was born? After all these years!” could take things from fun and playful to hurtful and disappointing. So set some ground rules before you start. First– it is OK not to know every answer. Just take the opportunity to learn something new. Make it a topic of conversation for few minutes.
Second– it is not necessarily the fault of a partner who doesn’t know the answer. Communication goes both ways. Have there been times your partner reached out to connect with you but you ignored them? If both of you are not continuously trying to get to know each other, it is time to make your partner a bigger priority.
Take Your Time
Don’t set an expectation to talk through every burning question you have. Space it out. Don't make it a chore. Make this something you both look forward to. So get curious about your partner! Make it a priority to continuously learn about them and fall in love all over again.
I’ve worked with hundreds of couples, and now I’m offering couples’ weekend retreats to give your relationship a reboot! If you would like to learn more about easy ways to transform your relationship, RSVP for my next free virtual intro class at AvenuesOfCounseling.com/additional-services/gottman-marriage-workshop.