The Mind of a Teenager
Teenagers. They’re the biggest mystery to everyone. But remember when you were one? Can you recall how frustrating it is to be that age? There are so many pressures and new stresses that you were just then discovering. Both being a teen and having to parent one can be a stressful time for you and your child. By educating yourself on the matter of rebellious teens, you will be more prepared for the day when your sweet little child isn’t so sweet or little anymore.
Teens & Rebellion
Congratulations! You now have a very strong-minded hormonal teen on your hands. They do everything from mouthing off to hanging out with friends you don’t quite approve of. As a parent, if this is your first teen, chances are up until now you aren’t used to your kid questioning what you say. However, just because they question you, does not automatically make it defiance. The biggest thing to remember is to set rules for your teen and stick to them. No, this does not mean being extremely strict because that would almost certainly have the opposite impact. Also, remember to pick your battles. Small things like trying to control what music they listen to is nothing compared to them skipping school, doing drugs, drinking, etc. Your teen is way more likely to understand and comply with rules that sound reasonable and make sense to them.
Giving Your Teen Space
This can be extremely hard as a parent. You want to be able to keep in touch with your kids and be a part of their lives because you love them, but sometimes this isn’t what they need. It is likely they emotionally have a lot going on, so they may want to be alone. Just keep an eye on your teenager from afar and make it known that if they need you for anything, you’re there. You can also have other people you trust on the outside look after your teen also. Perhaps it is a family member you both trust. This can be extremely helpful for social media and if your teen refuses to friend you or follow you. It may sound like spying, but they aren’t there to tell you everything, just the important things. The person on the outside can let you know if something alarming is happening so you can be aware of what is going on in their lives and when to take action.
Overall, you need to have trust in yourself that you have raised a smart child that will ultimately make good decisions. Almost everyone goes through a rebellious or defiant stage, it is normal for teenagers. Just stay alert and know the warning signs and while it will not be the easiest job in the world, it’s an important one. Ultimately, even if it doesn’t feel like it, your teen needs you. They might not admit it, but they do love you and it is just a stage that will eventually pass, so parents you can take a sigh of relief.
If you are concerned about any of your teen’s behaviors, or you are feeling like you need more tools to parent effectively, connect with one of our counselors for guidance and support. Avenues of Counseling and Mediation has two offices, in Medina and Akron, Ohio, with several providers who really understand the teenage mind and what it takes to parent them to adulthood.