Substance Abuse
Why Don’t You Just Quit?
This is a question that people may ask someone who is struggling with substance abuse. It is a question they may even ask themselves sometimes. The answer unfortunately is not as easy as it may seem. People dealing with substance abuse issues can rarely quit by just “trying harder”. The reality is that drugs can change the chemistry of the user’s brain, which changes the way they think, feel, and make decisions. It makes it very difficult for them to quit on their own, no matter how much they may want to stop. It’s important to understand that people who struggle with substance abuse are not weak people or bad people. They are people with a mental health disorder that most commonly requires treatment to get better.
Addiction is not something that has an effect on just one individual, it can harm their families and friends as well. People can be addicted to almost anything, but drug and alcohol addiction remain the most prominent. By educating yourself on the best ways to help a loved one with an addiction, you will give them their best chance.
Things To Accept
Before anything else, you need to realize that there are things you can do, and some that you can’t.
What You CAN Do:
Educate Yourself- Learn about their addiction to be prepared for the road ahead. Look for signs, treatments, and relapse triggers. Also, educate members of the family as well. It may be hard to talk about, but the less the situation is left in the dark, the better. Find out ways for the entire family to be a part of the treatment with various programs.
Avoid Enabling- Often, family members will enable an addict because they don’t know what else to do, and feel powerless. They sometimes feel if they don’t do what the addict asks, they may lose them. It is important to not be an enabler as it will just slow the healing process. To avoid this path, set boundaries. For example, say something like, “I can’t control what you do every second of the day, but I do not want you to be drunk while in this house.” Make sure after the boundaries are set, you follow through with the consequences. This can be hard, but enabling them will get nowhere.
Take Care of Yourself- Being responsible for an addict can be physically and mentally draining. However, you can’t give anything if you already gave all you have. Make sure to keep up with your own thoughts and emotions. It is a very common thing for those affected by an addict to seek out counseling as well.
What You CAN’T Do:
Force Them to Quit- People almost never permanently change just because someone is making them. True growth in a person comes from learning and seeing the natural consequences of their actions. While you or their loved ones being concerned may concern them, often it is not enough to make a life change. Trying to make someone quit will just tire you out and take a big toll out on you. Instead, offer help and guidance, but don’t be overly judgmental or accusatory.
Do the Work for Them- If someone wants to change, it is not something that is going to happen overnight. Also, their form of recovery might look different than yours or someone else’s. Try not to babysit the whole thing, and let them better themselves on their own. Yes, it is important to support them, but not to control them. Often, recovering addicts have multiple relapses, so keep that in mind as well.
Avoid the Situation- Pretending like you don’t know what is happening, or looking the other way can be a very risky move. The situation will just continue to get worse, and it could become more and more life-threatening. A lot of times people don’t talk about addiction because they don’t exactly know how to bring it up without people becoming uncomfortable. There is a stigma that needs to be broken that addicts are bad people. Addiction doesn’t need to be a defining characteristic. Recovery is possible with the right knowledge and team.
Many people who have substance abuse issues struggle with other mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. In some cases, the substance abuse problem stemmed from the attempt to alleviate the symptoms of their mental health issues. Avenues of Counseling and Mediation, LLC has Counselors in both the Medina and Akron locations who work with people dealing with substance abuse.
For more information about substance abuse and mental health, check out:
SAMHSA: Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration