Relationship Tips for People with Anxiety

Relationships can be stressful. From the very first date you might be worrying, ‘Do I look ok in this outfit?’, ‘What if there are awkward silences during dinner?’ and ‘Is he/she going to like me?’ And it gets more complicated from there, because being in a relationship, getting to know someone and building intimacy requires being vulnerable. This is hard for anyone. 

Now, let’s add on top of that, you are a person who already wrestles with high anxiety or an anxiety disorder.  If you, your partner or both of you have anxiety, it can make it even harder to have a strong and healthy relationship.

Below are a few tips to help keep your relationship strong if you or your partner has anxiety.

Communication is Key

 Anxious thoughts are extremely personal and you might be tempted to avoid talking about it with your partner.  But it’s important to remember, the tough conversations are what will bring you closer. One of the most effective ways to cope with anxiety in a relationship is to be open, honest and direct with your partner about it and about how they can best support you when you are feeling anxious.

Learn Together

It can be very difficult for someone who hasn’t experienced significant anxiety to understand how it feels. Explaining what it feels like to have intense anxiety can also be hard to convey. Share some articles or websites that help describe what your anxiety feels like and look at them together. Let your partner ask you questions to help clarify what it feels like to be in your shoes. 

Boundaries are Important

Talking is healthy, but talking over and over about the same thing can be draining on your partner. If your partner sets some boundaries with you when it comes to your anxious feelings, know that it is not because your partner does not love or care for you. Boundaries are important to enhance your relationship, not to push against it. This will help to keep the connection strong.

Focus on Them

When you are feeling anxious, it can almost feel like a bubble that you can’t get out of. Those thoughts bounce around you and consume you, and it can sometimes lead to neglecting your partner’s needs. One way to pull yourself out of that bubble is to focus on someone you care about and making him or her happy.  Take some time to give your partner attention, gratitude affection, touch or have conversations just about him or her.

And the most important thing to remember is that you are not defined by your anxiety and there is plenty of good that comes with loving you, regardless.