Recognizing if You’re an Abuser

Domestic violence is a very serious public health concern in this country which affects millions of Americans every day. It is defined as a pattern of coercive and assaultive behaviors between partners in a relationship, often in a physical manner but also commonly in a psychological, verbal, sexual, or economic manner of coercion with the end goal of controlling and maintaining power over an intimate partner. This happens in marital couples, but also in cohabiting and non-cohabiting couples, former couples, in heterosexual relationships, and same-sex relationships. Its effects spans races, ages, economic statuses, and cultures.

 

You Could Be an Abuser if You:

  • Don’t support family and friend relationships

  • Isolate your friendships from your partner

  • Don’t support personal growth

  • Have no hobbies or interests of your own

  • Don’t care about the other’s opinion

  • Are not comfortable with having different opinions

  • You don’t feel comfortable expressing your feelings and emotions

  • You and your partner don’t talk or listen

  • You accept no responsibility for your own behavior

  • Can’t apologize when you are wrong and can’t accept an apology from others

  • Never consider the relationship a partnership

  • Don’t share in the decision-making

  • Seldom treat other people with respect

  • Are not secure enough to accept your significant other’s relationships with the opposite sex

  • You aren’t trustworthy or reliable

 

The Effect of Domestic Violence on Children in the Home

 Intimate partners are not the only people who suffer because of domestic violence. Children and teens in a home where domestic violence occurs do not have to be directly involved in order to have serious adverse effects; just being a witness to it can harm children physically, (sleeping and eating dysfunctions, psychosomatic disorders, physical injuries) emotionally, (feelings of guilt, shame, fear, depression, stress, anxiety) socially, (trust issues, social isolation, difficulty relating to peers), cognitively, (developmental delays, learning difficulties) and behaviorally (acting out, using physical force to get what one wants).

 

There is help available for both abusers and victims. Connect with the intake team at Avenues of Counseling and Mediation, to help you select a counselor from our Medina or Akron, Ohio office to meet your needs.

Nicki Masters