Are You Raising Your Daughter to Be Resilient?

We all want our daughters to be secure in themselves and make positive choices in their lives. We want them to feel good about the way they look and recognize each of their individual talents. We want them to be prepared to work through their own problems and grow up to be a healthy and happy adult. As parents, why does it seem so challenging at times to encourage resiliency?

Even girls growing up in the best homes with loving and supportive families experience emotional injuries. Failures and disappointments, criticisms, disapproval, or exclusion from peers – these moments of anxiety, sadness, and anger are part of life and are invaluable lesson-learning opportunities. How they learn to deal with and heal from these injuries will lay the groundwork for how well our daughters will problem-solve and function in daily life as adults. As we all know, these emotional blows do not decrease as we get older.

 Ways You Can Encourage Resilience in Your Daughter

• Promote High Self-Esteem- Talk to your daughter about negative thought patterns that decrease self-esteem and identify strengths that encourage it.

• Foster Communication- Teach your daughter how to identify and verbalize her feelings. Teach your daughter that all emotions are okay.

• Discuss Relationships and Boundaries- Teach your daughter how to recognize unhealthy relationships or significant others and how to set boundaries in her current relationships.

• Don’t Accommodate Every Need- It’s important to provide certainty and comfort, but don’t get in the way of your daughter’s development of problem-solving skills.

• Identify Stress & Teach Coping Skills- Help your daughter learn what triggers her stressors and other negative emotions, and how to cope with stress.

• Model Resiliency- Be aware of how your actions affect your daughter. Try to be calm and consistent. But also, if you react poorly to a situation, admit it. Use it as an example and talk about better ways to handle it next time.